Heroes Lost – A KRDO Newschannel 13 Special Report
Today, 20 veterans took their own lives, according to the latest estimate from the Department of Veterans Affairs.
The rate of suicide among veterans is approximately 1.5 times the general population.
It was just after the US invaded Iraq in 2003 that Tom Brown joined the Army as a mechanic.
His next 13 years would include several trips to both Iraq and Afghanistan, and while not necessarily on the front lines, he was exposed to images that are impossible to forget.
“I don’t wish my memories upon my enemies,” he says.
Looking back, Brown admits that he first felt signs of depression in 2004 while deployed to Iraq.
However, the darkest days for him were after transitioning out of the military to spend more time with his family.
Like so many other veterans, he had to learn to live life with no mission, no sense of purpose, and no structure.
“In the military, from Day 1, you’re told where to be, what to do, what to wear, and what you’re doing. In the civilian world, it’s like trying to herd cats, and everybody’s running into everybody,” he explains.
The transition had a dramatic effect on his mental health.
“I was depressed. I didn’t have my guys anymore. I didn’t have my team, I didn’t have my squad, my platoon, my company. It was scary. It was terrifying,” he says.
He admitted that trying to find something to wake up for everyday became a struggle.
Key data points from 2016 VA suicide report
It was also difficult for him to reach out for help, because admitting to suffering from depression or PTSD is often viewed as a sign of weakness for a soldier.
“A lot of us that are older vets, when we came in, it wasn’t a good thing to go talk about our mental status,” says Brown.
Kirsten Belaire, Director of Behavioral Health for Mt. Carmel Veterans Service Center in Colorado Springs, says it’s common for soldiers to resist making a cry for help.
“With veterans or with other people, when they’ve tried to express their suicidal ideations, the reactions they got were so immense or so intense, that now they want to hide it more,” she explains.
Belaire says a situation like Brown’s is not uncommon, with PTSD and difficulties with transitioning out of the military leading to things like depression, alcohol and drug abuse, and potentially suicide.
However, those aren’t the only contributing factors out there.
Relationship problems, financial stress, and career anxiety are just a few of the other factors.
“It (reason for depression) is as varied as the individuals that we work with,” she says.
Accordingly, there’s no single message to bring them back.
“The treatment is going to depend on the roots. What is really going on that is behind those suicidal ideations?”
According to Brown, there was always help available while he was on active duty.
However, finding help after he was out was different, and the VA clinic didn’t offer nearly the same level of care.
“With my mental health, I was seen once a week (while on active duty). Now that I’m out, it’s once every 3 months to 4 months,” he says.
Luckily, Tom discovered several support groups for soldiers, including the group “22 Until None” that recently marched to Garden of the Gods.
The “22” refers to the average number of daily veteran suicides prior to a report in 2016 that lowered the average to 20.
Brown also found career services offered at Mt. Carmel, where the staff can recommend veterans for particular positions that are tailored to their skill sets.
The combination of behavioral, career, and financial assistance is what Mt. Carmel Chief Operating Officer Bob McLaughlin calls “wrap-around care”.
“We are committed to be able to help those who might be spiraling to get services they need,” says the former garrison commander at Fort Carson.
Mclaughlin himself has lost fellow soldiers, and witnessing the impact on their families and friends is part of his motivation now.
“I am driven to make sure that people don’t have to feel that pain.”
The work of his staff has likely saved lives, but there are many more soldiers who couldn’t be reached in time.
Some of them served with Brown.
Just one day before his interview with KRDO, he learned of yet another through a text message.
“It hurt. Every time I hear about it, especially if it’s somebody I know, my heart breaks every single time. Every time. I mean 1 a day is too many. 22 a day is an epidemic,” he said.
It took a while, but lawmakers have taken notice.
Colorado Senator Michael Bennet’s office didn’t respond to requests for suicide data specific to Colorado, but Bennet was among 20 senators who recently sent a letter to the VA, demanding to know what happened to $6 million that was supposed to be spent on veteran suicide prevention.
Tom hopes his interview will help motivate other veterans suffering from similar cases of depression to seek help.
Here are a few resources that area available locally:
–Mt Carmel Veterans Service Center
–Colorado Springs Vet Center (VA)
–Veterans Crisis Line 1-800-273-8255
