Parents are tracking their adult children for safety. But is it actually safer?

By Avni Trivedi, CNN

(CNN) — Smartphone location tracking can help parents gain a little peace of mind about the whereabouts of their underage children — and some families may even make its use mandatory for their kids.

But what about the parents tracking their adult children? Is it easing parental worries — or is it causing more angst?

More than half of parents track their adult children using digital technology, a new poll published Monday by the C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor found.

Nearly 25% of parents who track their adult children said the monitoring could sometimes magnify their apprehensions rather than give them reassurance, according to the poll.

“This kind of tracking can feed and cause anxiety in parents because when you only have one data point, your brain has to fill in the rest,” said CNN contributor Kara Alaimo, a professor of communication at Fairleigh Dickinson University in New Jersey who was not involved with the poll. “You have to make assumptions and jump to conclusions, which may or may not be accurate.”

Some 68% of parents said they used tracking to ease their own worries, 64% said they tracked in case of emergencies, and 17% said it was to make sure their child — legally an adult — was someplace they considered acceptable.

Sarah Clark, University of Michigan research scientist and co-director of the Mott poll, said that none of the reasons, in her opinion, made it necessary to track adult children. Without clear communication and boundaries, Clark said remote monitoring could not only do harm to parent-child relationships but also prevent the development of independent, critical thinking in young adults.

“I’m not suggesting that all location tracking is bad, but it can easily get into a bad territory when the parent is inserting themselves into the kid’s life,” Clark said.

Monitoring adult children for perceived safety

The two most common reasons reported for tracking — peace of mind and in case of emergencies — highlight the importance of safety for parents. The new survey included responses from more than 1,500 parents with at least one child age 18 to 25.

Still, Clark and Alaimo warned parents to not overestimate their ability to provide safety from afar. Although it may be tempting to feel secure in knowing where grown children are, it can bring a false sense of security.

“Just because you’re tracking somebody doesn’t mean you’re understanding the situation and are there to intervene,” Clark said.

Furthermore, helicopter parenting doesn’t teach kids to be autonomous and independent, Alaimo said.

“I think teaching young adults how to make responsible decisions themselves would make them far safer,” Alaimo said. “Otherwise, once they’ve made a terrible decision, knowing where they are isn’t necessarily going to solve the problem.”

Instead, track children throughout middle and high school to provide support and ensure their safety when they are first gaining some independence, Alaimo suggested.

Starting conversations

Nearly all survey participants said their child was aware of their tracking, but only half of the parents said tracking was optional.

Clark pointed to the transition between childhood and adulthood as a time when families should discuss whether mandatory location monitoring is still appropriate.

“The lack of conversation really bothers me. It wasn’t that the kids weren’t aware, but they just didn’t have a role in shaping what this would look like,” Clark said.

Location tracking can be beneficial, experts said. But parents should be open about those concerns and build trust with their child, Clark and Alaimo said with emphasis.

Monitoring is helpful when a daughter goes out on a first date or a child visits somewhere new, according to Alaimo. Empowering your child to provide their location to a trusted friend may also be a good alternative.

Tracking shouldn’t be the only safety precaution taken.

“By that age, we should have taught young adults to recognize when situations could become dangerous and avoid them altogether, rather than rely on their parents to constantly track them,” Alaimo said.

When young children, especially adult children, don’t have the autonomy to make their own decisions, it can strain the relationship with their parents and contribute to a perception of distrust, Clark said.

To start these conversations with their children, Clark encouraged parents to reflect on their own upbringing. At a time when their own parents didn’t have the ability to track them, they relied on checking in from time to time.

“If what parents want is occasional check-ins from their kids, you can negotiate that without surveilling them,” Clark said. “That might be a nice way for your adult kids to say ‘Fine, I’ll text you back.’”

Alaimo urged parents to treat their adult children as what they are — adults.

“As adults, they should be making decisions about whether they’re surveilled, but also because it’s teaching our children that this is somehow normal,” Alaimo said. “This kind of tracking can make them less safe and can facilitate abusive relationships.”

Giving children the space to grow and learn is extremely beneficial, Clark said, and it’s something parents should understand is necessary for adulthood.

“They haven’t learned to let go and let their kid try to fly on their own. That includes making mistakes and not going to class or being late for work,” Clark said. “I think parents have to be honest with themselves about why you’re doing this.”

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