Roomba causes “poohpocalypse” inside man’s home

A hysterical Facebook post made by a man narrating the horror that ensued after his Roomba ran over his dog’s poop in the family household has gone viral.

Jesse Newton of Little Rock, Ark. discovered what he described as a “Pooptastrophe. The poohpocalypse. The pooppening” at around 3 a.m. when his son crawled into his bed smelling of feces.

When he finally got up to investigate, he discovered that his puppy Evie must have used the bathroom because the Roomba had left 25-foot poop trails all around the house.

“It will be on your floorboards. It will be on your furniture legs. It will be on your carpets. It will be on your rugs. It will be on your kids’ toy boxes. If it’s near the floor, it will have poop on it,” said Newton, describing what can happen if your Roomba runs over poop during its cleaning cycle.

Newton believes that the initial poop drop happened between midnight and 1:30 a.m. when the Roomba was scheduled to activate.

In the post, Newton goes into detail on how he cleans up his son, deconstructs his Roomba, does his best to revive his wife’s favorite rug and continues to scrub the house from top to bottom until 6 a.m.

“Oh, and you’re not just using profanity – you’re inventing new types of profanity. You’re saying things that would make Satan shudder in revulsion. You hope your kid stayed in bed, because if he hears you talking like this, there’s no way he’s not ending up in prison,” Newton explains as he reflects on the hard labor of getting the family home back to normal.

Once the cleanup was done, it was time to see the damage caused to the Roomba, which he claims he paid $400 for. The machine would never clean another carpet, so Newton called the business he bought it from to explain what had happened.

“So I called them and told the truth. My Roomba found dog poop and almost precipitated World War III.”

Lucky for Newton, the Hammacher Schlemmer offered a lifetime warranty, and he was given a brand new Roomba free of charge.

Since creating the post, it has been shared over 300,000 times and has even been offered help by Merry Maids and Clorox.

Newton’s last message to those who took the time to read his story…

“And remember – don’t let your Roomba run over dog poop.”