Teen dating violence survivor: know the signs

A southern Colorado woman hopes her story will help teens and parents know the signs and dangers of teen dating violence.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness month.

“I think that if you had asked me at the time if I was in an abusive relationship, I would’ve said no,” Kaeli King said. “I had no idea.”

King said at 14, she was in an abusive relationship, that lasted until she was 15.

“Initially, the relationship wasn’t abusive whatsover. It was just exciting, and passionate, and brand new,” she said. “It was my first real relationship.”

Progressively, the relationship changed, she said. He began texting her often, wanting to know where she was, what she was doing, who she was with.

“I just thought, ‘He wants to spend all his time with me, this is so exciting.’ But then, it began to be a little intimidating,” she said. “‘I don’t want you spending time with certain people,’ or ‘Are you really going to wear that?'”

Then one day, things got physical.

“I remember him walking over to me, and shoving me against a brick wall, and my head cracked back against the brick, and he stuck his hand out again, and put it against my forehead, and pushed my head back into the brick,” she recalled.

King said there was name-calling, yelling, hitting, cheating. Her relationship with her parents – whom she was close and open with – changed.

“I started to distance myself from my parents,” she said. “My partner at the time didn’t want me to talk to them as much.”

Her advice to parents, have an open communication with your teens and have patience with them.

“What’s most important is to reach out to your kids, and to continue talking to them and know that they have a safe place,” she said.

For her, it was seeing her parents loving, health relationship that made her realize she needed to end the abuse.

“I realized that it was time to go,” she said. “That I deserved better.”

If you are in an abusive relationship, contact TESSA’s 24-hour crisis line at (719) 633-3819.

Http://www.breakthecycle.org and http://www.loveisrespect.org can also help.